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Saturday, June 18, 2011

What's the Harm?

I am convinced as the people of God, we often do far more harm to each other as brothers & sisters of the faith, then the world could ever do. We sabotage, compete, backbite ummm that list could go on. God said you will know them by their fruit, their love for one another. I ask you, what does your fruit look like?

Greater harm is done to the faith, because it is a betrayal and more hurtful when ever the offense comes from "family" agreed?.  Nothing hurts more then when your family hurts you.   This is why people in the church are so wounded..... via pastors, fellow parishioners....  Christ bled, so we wouldn't have to... yet we wound one another constantly.  We are to sharpen one another, not stab.  So lets work on our love walk & our integrity as saints.

In this walk of celibacy, which hasn't been easy, I have been respected more by men who were NOT Christians as they walked away in honesty saying that the thought of abstaining from sex was not one they will consider, versus some men of God, who scoffed at me, did not take it serious, were not on the same page, and actually challenged me. Some have even gone as far as to be physically aggressive, knowing that the pressure of physical stimulation will often cause a person to break. I have been both angered and saddened by this. I know women do it to men as well so there is no partiality here. But we have to do better family.

Now I won't pretend I'm innocent.... I have seduced my fair share of men in the past... but certainly not a man who actually claimed to have wanted to abstain.  I don't believe I have ever dated a man that wanted to.  Not an excuse in anyway because theoretically I am guilty by my very participation and  by provocation even if the person was willing or not.  Sin is sin.  I'm just saying I don't ever want to be guilty of having been the cause of someone else to sin.

Certainly this is not exclusive to men as I have heard many a story from men who claim that they desired to abstain and were disappointed in the women they dated who did the same.... seduced them into sex.  I will say however I believe the motive for women is a little different... not related to an insatiable sex drive but a desire for attention.  I have heard it time and time again, how women think that a man who does not touch them physically is not attracted to them.  "Oh he must be gay" or "Is there something wrong with me".  You see it's so rare to find a man with those types of values (sad but true)  that we don't appreciate it when we see it.  Then of course there is the low self esteem factor of the woman who must find her emotional gratification in the attention from a man.  So sad.

Such a struggle.

As men and women of God, the last thing we should be doing is causing one another to stumble, no matter what the area.... so lets try to at the very least let those who desire to have standards have them without the pressure of coercion.  Those who don't desire to hold the Godly standard should have no trouble what so ever finding others who are on the same page as they are....... so at least keep a clean conscious when it comes to having affected the life of another brother or sister with your lack of discipline.  Ouch this stings a little.... a tough pill to swallow... but you know I speak truth.  I have never been one to make excuses or condone mess but i'm just sayin, it's one thing to do your own dirt, just don't drag others into it with you.....I own what belongs to me and try to be better..... so I desire to help others do the same.  If this has been you...... ask God to forgive you for those you may have caused to stumble no matter what the area.... God is merciful and He loves us unconditionally but He wants us to be better to each other.

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