Take for instance any young person, who has been encouraged into promiscuity and sexual activity who then commits to become a Christian and eventually marries another Christian. For a while everything seems great, until this same person who once enjoyed such sexual freedom as a “former-fornicator,” now finds themselves experiencing all kinds of sexual “hang-ups.” Past experiences and comparisons haunt their mind - with flashbacks and shameful memories. In addition they find that guilt and condemnation now “shut-them-off” to sex, when they should be enjoying “free and unhindered passion” with their ordained partner. Needless to say such “shutting down” sexually causes the couple great heart ache and frustration.
It’s evident then that two basic “lies” prevail. The first is aimed at the single non-Christian, “forget abstinence and restraint, live life while you are still young..!” The second is aimed at the young married Christian couple, “Pull yourselves together and don’t be so lustful. Sex is sinful – have some restraint..!” This sells the message that sexual ‘all-out-ness’ is right for the “fornicator” but wrong, shameful (perhaps even, “out of the will of God...”) for the believer! Listening to either lie will rob these youngsters of the beauty and blessing intended for sex.
In addition to all this, the young Christian wife gets pushed this idea; “Hey, hold on here don’t you know that you don’t ‘have’ to have sex whenever ‘he’ wants it... who does he think he is anyway. You don’t have to submit to ‘him’ – don’t give yourself to ‘him,’ your body belongs to ‘you’ ...” etc. Which is directly out of line with scripture (see 1Peter 3:1-7; Eph 5: 22-33, Col 3: 18-20) For the Christian marriage - the couple, out of a loving and intimate relationship - submit to one another in love (Ehp 5:21 KJV).
My wife tends to prefer the Message Bible for this particular scripture because it takes “religion” out of it. So let’s take a look at Eph 5:21-33, “Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. Wives understand and support your husbands... The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing... wives should likewise submit to their husbands. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting... His words evoke her beauty... that is how husbands ought to love their wives... loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband (Eph 5: 21-33 The Message Bible).
To continue isn’t it funny that a lot of young girls today are being enticed, seduced and encouraged to “submit” themselves - through promiscuity - to their boyfriends or male admirers, without reserve! Without objection and dazed by promiscuity they “submit their bodies” to lust through “random” partners via premature sexuality and adulthood!
Then with the seduction of nightclubs and fun bars, where fornication is “normalcy” and promoted through seductive and atmospheric music with the drunken haze that surrounds it all! “Submission” is never an issue in such settings where scantily clad and provocative young ladies submit their bodies quite readily to lust! After all “fornication” is more about seeking the fulfilment of one’s “own” pleasure rather than seeking to “give” it meaningfully to someone else.
It is an accepted fact today that most young men and women who go to night clubs and such places, are going with the intention of sex. Especially young women earn this reputation and have it taken for granted that if they go to such places they are “prepared” for sex. They dress sexy, they yield to the sexy atmosphere and in addition they “fuel” this with drugs and alcohol to help “enhance” the mood and “numb” any youthful inhibitions.
But what is encouraged while in the world is then discouraged in marriage. Sexual readiness is suddenly seen as something “else” and as a result “spontaneity” rapidly goes out of the window! In other words, outside of the drunken haze and night club atmosphere; and back in the mundane “status-quo” of everyday living - couples find themselves “stifled” and no longer “free.” ALL THIS MEANS THAT THEY HAVE BEEN “SCHOOLED” AND “PREPARED” FOR FORNICATION BUT NOT FOR MARRIAGE! This travesty makes it very difficult for them to know how to respond within a different set of boundaries – called marriage. In fact everything they learn at school undermines the institute of marriage. The big green light for premarital sex and promiscuity sets them up for a fall when it comes to marriage. What is satan’s agenda? To “destroy” society as we know it.
So as we apply this to ourselves and not just to the youth of our society, we can see that this entire subject is entirely on its head! In other words “upside down” because of an almighty “clash” or “conflict” in interests. The devil’s says, “Be free in fornication!” while God’s says, “Be free only in marriage.” Yet the truth is that for many who indulged in fornication before marriage– have difficulty being free inside marriage. The reality is that what the devil calls freedom is really bondage. However a person can be set free from their past; through Christ old things can “pass-away” and all things can be made “new” in Him – including God’s “best” being restored to them (2 Cor 5:17).
In God we are free. There is no bondage in Christ. An important realization for some folks is that, while the spirit of this world belches out, “Have sex without restraint...” This also is actually God’s “command” yet “within marriage” – as marriage is the only ordained and correct setting for “safe sex!” That’s right, you read right! Without restraint is God’s command “within” marriage. Think about it, we were told not to “with hold” ourselves from one another..!” Again the reality is this - everything that the world is seeking for in sex, is available right in the midst of what God ordained. And what the world considers ‘sexual liberation’ usually involves much bondage. On the other hand – those who operate in the fullness of what God has ordained for them are the ones who experience true sexual freedom!
Now for some folks this is precisely where the struggle “begins!” Why? Because the devil has managed to convince many that it’s wrong to be “sexy” and “godly” at the same time! This of cause throws an enormous “wet-blanket” on the subject of sex. However sex was created for pleasure not for shame, guilt or regret – Hallelujah.
Perverting generations before they ever get the chance to enjoy marriage in the way God intended is Satan’s way of, ‘stealing, killing and destroying’ our inheritance – God’s best for his children in ALL things. He looks to confuse our perception of the Father’s highest and best, in this important area.
The serpent’s nature is always to seduce and tempt. But it does not stop there. He also indulges in “condemning” and “accusing.” His master plan is to “seduce” and to “lure” people into sin – once they respond and are led away of their own lush (see James 1:14) he proceeds to enjoy tormenting them with the guilt and shame of their actions afterwards..! As a liar and the father of lies satan has always made such a huge deal out of sex. Why? Because it poses such a threat to him and if he can successfully convince us that something pure is perverse – this means we can no longer enjoy it. Conversely if he can convince the world that only “perversity” is enjoyable and purity is boring – then they stay aloof. But we know deception is his game – and we are enlightened amen!
Finally in closing – there can be no mistake - we have been ordained to live life to the full and more abundantly – this excludes no area of life. In Christ we are free in all things. Amen!
Father I am Yours. My body is Yours. I fear nothing but You! I live in the liberality that comes only by Your Spirit. I am not liberal as the world calls it. But I am liberal by Your Spirit. I am free because of Your Son - in EVERY area of my life. Amen.
Those the Son set free are free in deed. I have complete freedom in every area of my life. I want no “hang-ups” and I chose to be free in the area of sex. The world feeds us with a false perception of sex. But everything that You ordained for us to enjoy is pure in its origin. I glorify You the Giver of life and all good things. Nothing is perverse in You and to the pure all things are pure (Titus 1:15) Hallelujah.