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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Right Hand of Fellowship (masturbation & abstainance)

In my last post about the "it factor" one reader made reference to quick fixes.  Now this is a common thing to do for many (masturbation that is) however technically it's not acceptable spiritually either right? 

I mean the church is giving a whole new meaning to the right hand of fellowship all in an effort to abstain from sex or to relieve the sexual tension so you won't be tempted to fulfill the desire with a person your not married to.

For some this is an issue as well.  It becomes addictive.  So are you really abstaining or just replacing?

So for those who find it easy to abstain, is it because your fellowshiping with yourself?   LOL 

Is it really the lessor of two evils?

Just a quick thought......


  1. Sex is a natural urge for most. And for woman hormonal imbalances seem to contribute a little more during certain times of the month. I'm Christian but I'm not one of the hollier than thou Christians. Nor do I know what the bible teaches about masturbation. I've heard once that it wasn't the actual act itself but the thoughts behind the act.

    Either way, a 60 second quick fix seems to be less offensive and invasive than 8 inches of soul ties and the rest of the stuff that comes along with actually giving yourself to someone else.

    I find it easy to abstain because I really haven't found anyone who I feel is worthy. Attractive enough, yes but worthy no.

    Why should I give myself to you ? If it's God then I should be worthy enough for you to wait and vise versa.

    If a man or woman needs to service themselves in order to abstain from the real deal I say do it. It may not be the answer or the best solution BUT I've never heard of anyone being referenced to as a WHORE because they masturbate twice a month. One step at a time seems to be the best task at hand. Stay off the ride by any means necessary (lol)

    Some people just have addictive personalities, in which case they need to address the core of things. (spirit of lust, insecurities, low self esteem) Whatever the case may be

  2. That's funny.... Stay off the ride...

    No your not a whore for masturbating, but spiritually it's wrong. Yes because the thoughts you have during the act are lustful.

    anyone who says they can masturbate and not think anything lustful is a liar.

    60 seconds? Wow whats your secret? (it usually takes me longer) If your using tools, that is another part of the story we can touch on too. (phallic symbols)

    The lessor of two evils? Imma go with masturbation but I have been convicted about that to.

  3. When you make reference that masturbation being spiritually wrong, where is it touched upon in the bible ?

    No tools necessary, and I have no secrets. It's just a quick release and a fleeting thought.

    I personally don't get convicted by the act of masturbation. Nor do I have to worry about a soul tie.

  4. @Anonymous,

    A lot of people don't get convicted by it because they see nothing wrong with it. Of course anything you justify won't be wrong to you.

    I feel convicted because I got the revelation of how it's wrong.

    There is only one scripture that actually makes specific reference to "masturbation" and it was in the context of denying your spouse pleasure & pleasing yourself.

    Believe it or not there are actually couples that suffer as a result of masturbation where their partners will self gratify which causes an issue with intimacy.

    The biblical application for someone single is that it falls under the category of lust.

    If you actually stimulate yourself to full orgasm that is considered fornication because it's root is lust.

    As I stated in order to reach a full orgasm via masturbation, there are thoughts & even images that must take place to get you there right?

    You will begin to think of the last time you had sex or the last person you had it with...

    A lot of people use pornography to facilitate it etc.....

    Of course you don't have to worry about a soul tie, but what has been proven is that people can become addicted to masturbation.

    Some people do it every day.

    This is where the saying comes in that it's not the act but the thoughts that are the sin.

    For married couples it's actually suggested when they must spend long periods of time apart so as to lead them away from temptation of adultery. But clearly they would think of one another when they do it. If they think of anyone aside from their spouse then it's a sin.

    I like millions have done it, but I can't remember one time that I didn't think about something/someone lustfuly during the act that made orgasm possible, hence the sin.

    Although it doesn't create a soul tie to anyone, it does open spiritual doors that can take you in a bad direction. Like I said,some people get addicted, start looking at pornography etc....

    You do you..... but I'm not going to encourage people. It's one thing for a young girl or boy to masturbate if they have never had sex.... they have no memories to recall, and the act is innocent in nature, exploration, relieving especially for males because of how they get build up.

    For me, when I do it, it heightens my desires... when if I just allow the moment to pass it goes away. Once you satisfy the beast for some it makes them want the real thing.

    To each his own & your journey with God is your own. The bible actually says what is unclean to one may not be unclean to another & ultimately what the sin factor in all that is this: The attitude & motive of the heart.

    If your not convicted then by all means enjoy it. But if you want a REAL REVELATION about it, then pray about it & ask God what's wrong with it or if your wrong.

    You will get an answer........

  5. Long term it creates an anti-social behavior....I don't need no body....I don't trust no body....this is mentally unhealthy.

  6. Okay, uhmmm im going to go with the lesser of two evils route. Although I am in a monogamous relationship I have no problem with a little self love during a dry spell. And even though unfortunately at this time I am not married (i'm recently divorced) i rather a little self love then stepping out of my relationship just to feed my sexual needs. I did practice self love during my marriage. Let's be honest there are times where my husband art he time was" tired" and I wasn't. So if my images were of him while I was loving myself was I still in the wrong?

  7. Is there a direct atatement against it? I'm not familiar with one. Is there one or more principles that would strongly discourage it, I think there are, but as you pointed out, Lisa, at the end of the day, it is something that the individual needs to hear from God about.

    The New Testament concept of holiness and morality seems depend as much upon an internal reference point as an external one. Israel had only the Law, Statutes and Judgments to guide them, while we have both the Word *and* the Spirit, with the Spirit being the primary reference point. We do not have 613 specific commands as did the Israelites, but they did not have the Spirit of Christ living within them, as we do. All of us who are Christians know of situations where the Spirit has warned us away from something, and, although there was no commandment regarding it written in the text, we just knew that it would be wrong for us to do.

    Gambling, drug use, masturbation, and I'm sure we could think of other issues which, while having no direct prohibition, most of us would agree would grieve the Spirit. For me, it gets down to a simple choice: do I ask myself, "how close to Christ do I *have* to walk," or "how much closer *can* I walk?" That is the question that underscores how I approach potential pitfalls.

    One thing I can say, I don't think that masturbation is nearly as satisfying as an intimate relationship with your spouse. Here's a closing priciple that I would keep in mind: "Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought with a price, therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's" (1 Cor 6:18-20).

  8. @Soljah,

    Great commentary, thanks for that addition.

    Often though we have the knowledge we don't have the revelation of these scriptures. God has made it clear yet we still don't see.

    Like you said there are not 613 specific commands but there is principle in place. We just have to apply it to our lives.

  9. @Anonymous,

    If the images were of your husband then no your not wrong so long as your self love did not "deprive" him of love. So long as your act did not put you in a position that you no longer desired his touch but your own? Does that make sense? Also did it become addictive, do you watch porn? etc....

    I will be honest, when I was married (divorced now for 15 years) my husband NEVER brought me to orgasm. As a matter of fact the first orgasm I ever had was through masturbation.... I was like hey hey, is that what it's supposed to feel like? Whew!!!!!

    So this too is one of the great mysteries... why would something that seems so natural be so wrong.

    It's what's behind it.

    I have to say that I am glad I did it, cuz if I had never found out what an orgasm was supposed to feel like, I would still be faking it. LOL

    But I digress, I know that it is not the thing for me to do, it only awakens my urges at this stage in my life.

    I honestly think that it's fine for married couples to touch themselves & each other in that way.... sexual pleasure is meant for marriage. So long as your not fantisizing about Dwayne "the rock" Johnson while your doing it.... oops that's just me. ;*)

  10. As God asked Moses "What is in your hands?" I believe that Christian men in particular find a myriad of ways to "replace" the sexual act. Recently, at our Singles meeting, we discovered the BC (Booty Call) that occurs in ways we never considered before. It can even be the psych of the "game" that turns a man on with no real sexual contact/words/'s deep people. And, if masturbation is a sexual sin against ones own body, how can it be called "self love?"

    What are Godly, Holy, Virtuous ways that work (no, for real though) to deal with the natural sexual urges, ways that pleasure God. Since we are not hardly going to "lift up a praise" in the midst of temptation, I would say saturation with God's Word before the temptation is the key. I also say that since the flesh has a "mind" and a "voice" (a very loud one), that we can talk back to it. I talk to my flesh like one would talk to a spoiled child, it works for me!

  11. POWERFUL! statements.thank you Jesus for your people.