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Monday, January 24, 2011

Skeletons in the closet

Do you have any skeletons in the closet?  I can honestly say I don't.  I got rid of all my skeletons to make room for my shoes.  :*)

There is a liberation in transparency.  I can truly say that honesty is the best policy if you desire to transform or change.  This doesn't mean that you owe anyone explanations, but certainly you should have nothing to hide.  Most often we are hiding from ourselves.  Believe it or not, your ability to be transparent helps others to be transparent as well.  Those that do not accept you for your good and bad are not meant to be in your life, so move on and keep on keepin it real.

In my post about hypocrisy I spoke about my journal & how I used to write as though someone was going to read it.  I was scared someone might read it & what they might think of me if they did.  Some of the deepest secrets, feelings, thoughts that only God knows.  That's powerful.  But what I found to be more powerful was once I got it on paper it no longer had power over me.

Once I was able to put on paper the truths about my shortcomings, deficiencies & sins they no longer had power over me.

Among the entries would be my heart breaking admissions of when I had sex with my long time soul tie.  Couldn't seem to get that man out of my system.  But my soul and spirit were vexed every time we were together.  Why?  Because I knew he wasn't for me & so did God.  Why was it so hard to let go?  Why was I willing to allow myself to be with a man I knew didn't love, he only enjoyed having sex with me, and I certainly enjoyed having sex with him.  The chemistry was amazing.  See that's what gets us sucked in.  I always wanted more from him, but somehow deep down new I would never have it.  Why was I willing to settle for what he gave me?

As I would make accounts of our interactions & the deficiencies in the relationship in my journal, I would begin to go back and read them.  There was something sobering about putting it all on paper.

I began to see what I couldn't see before, my low self esteem, my need for love & lack of it in the relationship.  I even laughed at myself.  It was funny.  I couldn't believe I was being so stupid.  Being transparent in my journal brought what was in the darkness of my mind way in the back to the forefront &  light.

Remember what stays in the dark will never be healed, but fester & spread like cancer.


  1. Good points, and I notice that women are more acculturated to journal (you know - diaries?) than men are. Unless you are a writer, a guy just does not do a lot of writing.

    Blogging is one way, but unless you are hoping that no one reads you, or you are an exhibitionist, you are not likely to expose your deepest thoughts in a blog if you are a guy, like me. It's just the nature of the beast, I guess. Any suggestions?

  2. Well Sojah, the suggestion would be to journal. A nice little red leather bound book, just for you. Your right men are not encourage to have diaries like women. In general that seems to be yet another pattern of how men are stifled in the communication of their feelings.

    Your don't have to blog like me, and i'm certainly no exhibitionist. I'm just free. At this point I have nothing to hide.

    The thought that any one could possibly be helped or healed or encourage, or enlightened by what I say is what encourages me to be candid in this forum. The thought that anyone would even remotely be interested in what I have to say is intriguing as well.

    You don't have to be a writer to journal, so just pick up the pen.....

    You are extremely articulate so just remember when journaling not to do what I did, don't hide behind the eloquent words & story telling ability, just begin to jot down your raw emotions and thoughts about things.

    It doesn't have to have a pattern, just what ever you did that day, or what ever thoughts you had. open up to yourself about insecurities, feelings, desires etc....

    It helped me a great deal.